2012...

finally...

This has been a cycle right from the start
where every single turn
is like a stab in my heart...
I see you, and for some reason i know
this really is worth fighting for...

For years, I've allowed myself to fall
for a long time i did it all
holding on to a hope that you will reach for my hand
and together we'll face the world
who wouldn't understand...

When there's no one else around to see
and we're both scared of what might be
I would look at myself and wonder
if i didn't love you,
would everything be better?

Can i let this go?
When the only sound i hear
is the beating of our hearts
and with your every touch
true happiness starts.

All i want is to be true
and face the truth
that no matter what i do,
I really LOVE YOU!



I tried to fight it, but I'd rather give in
through all this hurt...
wondering what could have been?
When I'd wish i could tiptoe
out of this hiding and pretending
and finally put an end to this endless waiting.

See I've lost myself in this love
when I've tried walking away but i can't
when I've done everything i could, loving you..
when I've chosen what i want and need
but wondering where this will lead...

I let rivers of tears fall from my eyes
cried over everything, the truth and lies
when I wipe away the tears off my face
and embrace these feelings I cant erase
I hope to God that one day
in true love you'll see
and that someday,

finally..

you'll choose to be with me...

Eternally...

Do i really Love you?
Yes! With all my heart...
this heart of mine reflects who i am,
it shows my entire soul,
it has a unique beat,
and it beats only for you...

I don't have anything,
Time is all that i can give you
my time is my life
and whenever i give it to you
i am making a sacrifice
Cause I'm giving you a portion of life
that i can never get back...

Are you the best one for me?
Yes... No... Maybe... Dunno...
you may not be the best one for me,
but you're the most important person in my life...
And it's not how much i love you that counts,
it's how happy you are,
while i was there loving you...




Those simple words
Words that i can only whisper in my dreams
Cause you're gone now,
in a place where several angels gather
you're so far away from me...
My love,
If only i can be with you there...

If my tears can show you to me,
I'm willing to cry a million tears
but I've been crying for a very long time...
And this scar in my heart is a reminder
that our love was real...
An ordinary love that I'll always remember...

The art of letting go is so hard for me to start
and the step to moving on is so difficult for me to take
Guess it's because of this simple reason...

My love,
I've never been so lost as I am now
without you...
Loving you is what my life's all about...

I've been preparing myself all my life for you...
And now I'm just so afraid...
I'm afraid to be alone....

If i ever see you in my dreams tonight
I'm gonna ask you to save me... heal me...
and help me string all events in my life into place,
cause i merely want this to end...

and put this heartache to rest...


Eternally...

One Last Time

Remember when i asked you,
"When is this supposed to last?"
you said, "Forever"...
I believed you then...
I still believe you now.

I have given you my heart
My scared and broken heart.
It is yours to keep.
Coz I have fallen hopelessly and undeniably inlove with you.

"I am alive, To love you!"


Thought our love is strong to stand the test of time.
But as days goes by
- together with the rainbow-colored sky -
slowly, it's now fading away...

I'm no longer welcome in your presence.
I'm afraid to stare at you now,
coz i don't want you to see me
holding back my tears...
I can't even dare to speak a word,
coz you might hear the hurt in my voice.

I cannot express how i truly feel
in fear of tears that fall so easily.
But as long as you're still here with me,
This heart of mine will never let go.

I want you to know what truly love is.
A genuine love...
Bear no pain...
Feel no hurt...
and with love,
I want you to be the best person you can be...
Even without me...

I knew i would love you
right from the very start.
But i just didn't know
I could love anybody this much.

With all my heart and soul,
I'm so willing to sacrifice myself...
- surrender my own happiness -
just to see you happy.

One Last Time...

A very special day...

From the bottom of my heart..
Thank you so much for all of this...

Thank you for making me feel how sweet love can be,
the second time around....

Thank you for coming back,
and for saving me once again...


I know you probably wonder from time to time what you mean to me.
I just wanna let you know that you matter more to me than you can imagine, and much more than i'll ever be able to explain...

What I have found in you is what every
person in the world is searching for...

You are my life...
I'm useless without you...

I Love You so much!!!

And i will always do everything i can,

to understand....

Friends?

It's hard to wait around for something
you know might not happen...
but it's harder to give up when you know
it's everything you ever wanted.

Two good friends are seemingly communicating by merely looking and listening to each others heart.

Boy: How will i know you feel the same way?

Girl: Come to think of it, how will i show it to you when I'm not free to do it.

Boy: I want to love you back but i don't wanna hurt her. It's about time to move on.

Girl: Yah! I know it's about time to clear this things out.

Boy: What do you mean?

Girl: It's about the insensitivity in you. If you only know how I am willing to fight for this feelings but you're not giving me the reason to do so.

Boy: Am sorry, But please stay...

Girl: Yah! As if i have a choice...


That was sent to me by my friend...
She told me she herself made it for me.

******

Green Rose for you... Your Favorite!

I am not completely insensitive...
I'm aware about it but i ain't taking it seriously cause you didn't even bother to tell me a single thing to justify all those thoughts.

I was once the reason of your "High School Heartbreak". And now after almost 5 years, you're hurting because of me the second time around. I don't know what to do... what more can i say? just to lessen the pain... I didn't mean to hurt you and i don't want to hurt you...

Knowing the person I now truly love is honestly beyond my control.
And i know you understand...

I'M SORRY!!!

I'm sorry for not considering your emotions
and for not asking how you exactly feel.
I'm sorry for breaking your heart over and over again.
That would be the last time...
Don't worry, i will do my part..
No calls,
No texts,
No online messages,
No meet - ups...

Just take one step at a time.
Changes must sometimes be made and don't be afraid to make them.

Thank you so much for everything.
For sharing the sunshine and shadows of my days.
I will surely gonna miss you!

I know you'll be back.
Whenever you're ready, just hit me up...
I'll just be waiting here...

And I will always stay the same....

For You!

Sa araw ng Pasko...

Dama ko na ang malamig na simoy ng hangin
Nakikita ko na ang nagkikislapang mga ilaw sa daan
Natatanaw ko na ang mga batang nagkakantahan sa lansangan
At mga taong abala sa nalalapit na pagdiriwang...

Ilang tulog na nga lang…
Pasko na naman…

kung kaya ko lang pigilan ang pasko
kung kaya ko lang pahintuin ang araw sa pagtakbo nito
gagawin ko ng walang alinlangan at buong puso
hanggang sa sandaling ika’y dumating na dito sa piling ko…

paano ako makakapaghanda
kung wala ka para sabihin ang mga bagay na gusto mo
paano ako makakain sa noche buena
kung wala ka para tikman lahat ng mga niluto ko,
ang mga pagkain na minsa'y naging bahagi ng buhay mo..
paano ako makakapagtayo ng malaking Christmas Tree
kung hindi mo rin mabubuksan ang mga regalo sa ilalim nito
mga regalo na buong taon ko ring pinag-ipunan para sayo…

Sa darating na pasko
Maaalala ko muli ang ating nakaraan
Sa araw ng kasiyahan
muling babalik ang tamis ng ating pagmamahalan
sa muli kong pagdiriwang ng pasko
tanging mga alaala mo na lamang
ang syang natitira at makakasama ko
dito sa puso kong minsa'y naging tahanan mo..

kung ipahihintulot ng diyos
nais sana kitang hiramin sa araw ng pasko
gusto ko lang iabot sayo itong munti kong regalo,
yung photo album na gustong gusto kong ibigay sau...
gusto kong punuin natin ito ng mga larawan
at mga alaala sa huling pasko na ating pagsasamahan...

kung sa susunod man ay magkulang ang aking panalangin
at hindi ka na nya muling ipagkaloob sa akin
sapat na ang limampung pahina ng mga larawan
para maging buo at tunay na maligaya
ang susunod pang limampung taon
na malayo ka sa piling ko…

at sapat na ang isang buong araw na mga alaala
para maipagdiriwang ko ng masaya
ang mga susunod pang pasko
na wala ka na sa buhay ko...

Saan ka man naroroon...

Maligayang Pasko Sa'yo Mahal Ko!

sana...

ito'y buong puso kong isinulat para sayo
sa kabila ng masakit na katotohanan
na kahit kailan ay hindi mo malalaman
na ikaw ang siyang tinutukoy ng liham kong ito.

alam mo ba...
kahit hindi ka magsalita,
buo na araw ko nasa tabi lang kita.
sana mabanggit mo kahit minsan,
na naging masaya ka dahil ako ang iyong kasama.

Handa akong ipagsigawan sa buong mundo
ang tunay kong nararamdaman sayo...
at alam kong kahit ikaw ay nasa tabi ko pa
hindi mo rin maririnig ang tibok nitong puso ko,
ang puso kong nanghihina kasisigaw ng pangalan mo...

Sa kabila ng kirot at sakit dito sa puso ko
na dulot ng labis kong pagmamahal ko sayo
ay ikaw pa rin magpa-hanggang ngayon
ang dahilan kung bakit tumitibok pa ito...

pagmasdan mo ang mga luha ko,
para maunawaan mo ang laman ng aking puso,
at nang maramdaman mo ang pag-ibig ko sayo
na nakakubli sa bawat patak nito...

hindi ko magawang ilihim ang pananabik sayo
ang maging bahagi sa bawat daang nilalakbay mo,
ayaw kong sundan ang mga yapak na tinatahak mo,
ngunit bakit ganito...?
hindi ko maihakbang ang mga paa ko papalayo sayo..

wala na akong lakas pa
hindi ko na maitago ang luha sa aking mga mata..
at hindi ko na rin kayang pigilan pa
ang aking mga ngiting dahan dahan nang nawawala...

hindi ko hihilingin na ibsan mo ang aking kalungkutan,
bigyan mo lang ako ng kaunting pag-asa,
na balang araw ay makakalimutan din kita.
Na isang araw, mawawala ka na rin sa isip ko
at tuluyan ng maglalaho sa loob ng puso ko...

sana...
maintindihan nitong aking isipan,
na kailanman ay hindi mo magagawang tandaan,
ang mahahalagang bagay na hindi ko kayang kalimutan…

at sana...
matanggap nitong aking puso,
ang katotohanan na mas magiging masaya ka
kung wala ako sa buhay mo...

sa maikling sandali...

Kung sakaling may magmamahal sa akin,
gusto ko mahalin nya ako ng walang dahilan,
nang sa ganung paraan,
wala ring dahilan para ako'y kanyang iwanan..

Kung pagbibigyan ako ng isang pagkakataon
isang kahilingan para sa buong magdamag
pipiliin kong bumalik sa aking kahapon
at kung maari sana ay kasama ka...

Nais kitang isama pabalik sa nakaraan ko
para maipakilala ko sayo ang sarili ko
ang simpleng pamumuhay na meron ako
at ang dalisay na pagmamahal
na minsan ay nanirahan sa puso ko.

Isang saglit lang
para maipadama ko sayo
na bago nawasak itong puso ko
minsan sa buhay ko ay nagmahal din ako ng totoo...
isang gabi lang
para maunawaan mo,
na kaya ako nasaktan ng ganito,
ay dahil pinili kong maging maligaya
ang taong pinakamamahal ko...

Maikling panahon lang
makasama ko ang taong minamahal ko,
kahit sandali lang
hindi ako matatakot yumakap sayo,
at sana sa isang saglit man lang
magawa mong mahalin ako,
gaya ng pagmamahal ko sayo...

Isang hiram na pagkakataon,
para makita mo ang lungkot sa mga mata ko...
Isang maikling sandali sa tabi mo,
para maipadama ko sayo
kung gaano ka kahalaga sa buhay ko...

Sa huling sandali ng gabing yun,
Nawa'y mabigkas ko sayo
ang bawat salitang matagal ko ring pinag-aaralan,
mga liham na nakakubli sa naguguluhan kong isipan,
at mga hikbi na kay tagal kung itinago sa aking kalooban..

At sa huling yugto nitong hiram na sandali,
magawa ko sanang iiyak
ang lahat ng sakit na bumabalot sa puso ko
para bukas sakaling magising man ako,
ay wala ng "IKAW" at LUHAng hahadlang pa
sa panibagong buhay na sisimulan ko...

sayo lamang...

kung nasasaktan mo man ako
ako'y nagpapasalamat pa rin
dahil pinapaalala mo sakin
kung gaano kita kamahal...



Patawad,
alam ko marami akong pagkukulang sayo
marami akong mga bagay na nagawa
na hindi mo nagugustuhan...
at may mga nasasabi ako,
na ikinasasama ng iyong kalooban.

Sa kabila ng lahat ng dahilan na ibinibigay ko
para ako'y iwanan mo...
Hindi mo pa rin ako binibitawan..
Hindi mo na kailangang sabihin pa
ang iyong walang katumbas na pagmamahal,
sapagkat dati pa man,
ito'y nadarama ko na...

kahit wala kang binabanggit,
at sinusubukan mong wag nalang magsalita,
alam ko na may dinaramdam ka,
ang totoo nasasaktan din ako
sa tuwing nasasaktan kita....

Sa bawat sambit mo ng salitang "OK"
gustong gusto kitang yakapin
dahil alam kong may lungkot sa likod ng salitang yan,
nais ko lang maramdaman mo na andito pa ako
hindi pa rin nagbabago ang pagmamahal ko sayo.

Wag mo sanang isipin
na hindi ko pa rin sya nakakalimutan.
dahil ang totoo matagal na,
pinakawalan ko na ang mga alaala nya,
para bumuo ng panibagong alaala kasama ka.

masaya ako pag andyan ka,
Sa'yo lamang iaalay ang buong pagmamahal ko,
at kahit munting bahagi man lang
ng pagmamahal kong yun...
sana....
nagawa kong maipadama sayo...

Hindi kita kayang pakawalan...
Hindi rin kita kayang layuan...

ang tanging alam ko lang....
ay Mahal Pa Rin Kita!